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We went to a small, private Lutheran school in northwestern Minnesota. I wouldn’t say we were friends, but with fewer than 600 students in our graduating class, everyone knew everyone. Noelle married her college sweetheart and has three kids; her youngest is just a few months older than mine. From afar, our lives often aligned via social media as we faced the same struggles and joys of motherhood – we even simultaneously dealt with the unwelcomed guest all breastfeeding mothers dread, mastitis. I’ll never forget the afternoon I was soaking in the bath trying to get my own ducts back on track when I read Noelle’s Facebook post. She had been to the doctor about her particularly stubborn breast. There was a reason warm compresses were working. She didn’t have mastitis. She had Stage 3 breast cancer. I remember dropping my phone on the towel beside the tub. I remember sinking below the bubbles and hiding beneath the water until I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. I splashed to the surface, gasping for air. It couldn’t be real. She had a baby, just like me. Our online-lives looked different after that, though I never missed a post. I read each one, holding my breath as she gave updates on treatments and progress. Her blogs were still about the struggles and joys of motherhood, but now had a newfound grace and an understanding of the profound gift these struggles and joys are. In one post she wondered if she would live long enough for her baby girl to remember her…I wept as I read it. The years passed. Noelle completed her treatments and seemed to cautiously settle into a new normal. I continued reading her posts, which now included family vacations, holidays and even recipes. I found myself breathing easier. Noelle would make it. She would live to see her babies grow. And then the cancer returned. This time in her bones. She eventually stopped blogging. Then friends started posting old photos of Noelle – pictures of her laughing and healthy. Then came a call for prayers. Then finally the post arrived that Noelle had, with a tear running down her cheek, passed away in her husband’s arms. I was with my little girl when I read it – she was chatting away, pretending to be a baby kitty or something – and I knew I would never be the same. Three days after Noelle passed away, my editor asked me, “Do you have a story in mind?” My answer: Yes. It’s the story of a beautiful young mother – a woman who gave me, and the thousands who followed her journey, the gift of perspective. Who taught us what an honor it is to be living these chaotic lives filled with struggles and joys and children who love us. Every day I will wish Noelle’s story could have been different, and every day I will be grateful for the way she changed mine. Dear friend left her mark with the gift of perspective GIRL NEXT DOOR It’s the story of a beautiful young mother – a woman who gave me, and the thousands who followed her journey, the gift of perspective.”