Page 10 March 2013 By Greg A Bruns [Greg is on a writing assignment until August. This column is one of his personal favorites and originally appeared in the April,2009 edition.] The problem with Curious George One of Hambone’s 1 favorite shows is Curious George, which is on the public broadcasting network. I’m glad to record anything on PBS for him - it’s sort of like trail mix for the brain. Sure, there’s M&M’s ® in there, but it’s mostly nutritious stuff. There are worse things Hambone could be marveling after right now, and the missus and I are extremely grateful that Elmo and The Wiggles have been “gonged” off the stage of Hambone’s daily attention feeder. There’s innocence in George’s antics, I mean after all, he’s just a curious monkey. Aren’t we all curious? Recently Hambone and I watched a 15-minute “George” together on the couch. While Hambone just sat there with his eyes wide, trans fi xed by this neatly colored, euphoric cartoon world, I observed some things he did not. The purpose of this particular episode was to show how a “system” needs all of its pieces to function properly. However, I noticed one major piece missing from this monkey’s life: personal responsibility. Here the rundown of the episode: CURIOUS GEORGE: PLUMBER’S ASSISTANT During the wrap-up of a routine bath, George allows some of his toys to slip down the drain. This clogs the pipe in the apartment he shares with the Man in the Yellow Hat, so a plumber is dispatched. George walks with the plumber down to the basement where the man turns off the water to enable an extraction of said toys. Much like Hambone in my house, George likes to watch things fi rst, and if you really want to get him excited, give him open access to a toolbox. The plumber takes a few pipes apart, clears the blockage, puts the “system” back together again, and then turns the water back on. It all works fi ne, and the plumber departs, presumably mailing his service bill to the man in the yellow hat. This suggests a familiar business relationship, which further suggests that this was not his fi rst trip to the apartment. Later that day, George somehow happens to jam the plumbing in their apartment again, this time in the kitchen. This is a critical juncture in this monkey’s day and I can tell that Hambone is looking upon this with concern and empathy. This would be the point that I would howl and carry-on about learning lessons the fi rst time, and then boot the boy to the backyard to get him and his mojo far away from the expensive service items in the Bruns house. Since the Man with the Yellow Hat has once again left without letting anyone know where he’s going, George takes it upon himself to fi x the problem, and heads down to the basement. No one, apparently, sees the monkey heading to the heart of the building with a pipe wrench in his hand, just as no one has bothered to restrict access to the area. This suggests either a lack of previous experience with George and the mechanicals room (unlikely) or a contractual employment issue – perhaps the union of building maintenance personnel is on a paygrade strike and the security of the area has been “overlooked”? This may turn political – and it might be just what the union needs to win the standoff. George thinks he can fi x his situation by emulating the plumber’s actions, but overlooks one critical item: reassembling the piping correctly before turning the water back on. Indeed, with no quali fi ed pipe technician on site, the monkey is unable to arrest the problem, and the basement fl oods. Majorly. Eventually the plumber is summoned, again. The job is corrected, cleaned up, wrapped up and everyone has a cheerful chuckle, with no admonishment for George’s actions. In fact, there appears to be zero disciplinary measures taken, and responsibility for this serious issue, either accepted or implied, is totally absent. IF I WAS THE MAN IN THE YELLOW HAT What are you doing with little stuff like marbles and army men in the bath, George? Get them out of there – in fact, you get out of there. You’ve been in there nearly an hour and I have to go to work. Let me tell you something George. This monumental piping error of yours is going to get our building condemned, or get it declared a Superfund site. In either case, a simple call to a plumber is not going to be enough. This is going to require the fi re department and the police for openers, since the building’s heaters and electrical panels are in the basement. This whole place is about to turn into a colossal electrical fi re and casualties are, sadly, inevitable. Do you have a billion dollars, George? This is a high-rise brownstone on a posh pedestrian street in Manhattan. While it may be insured by the owner, I bet there’s a jungle animal / pipe wrench clause in there, releasing the insurance company from responsibility. Once the fi res are suppressed, we’ll probably be imploding the building. If by some gracious miracle, we may get away with just a professional hazmat and demolition cleanup crew. There will be water damage, smoke damage, fi re damage, green mold, black mold and sewage backup, for openers. I’m just guessing, but I bet the costs will easily exceed the value of the building, so they’ll probably just knock it down and start over. Continued on page 12 One appointment. Expert doctors. Convenient services. 4350 E. Camelback Rd., Ste F100 Phoenix, AZ 85018 602.955.8700 • FPSAZ.com Because caring for your health has always been our passion, we’ve made the following services conveniently available in our office. • Excellent care for all ages • Same day appointments • On-site clinical laboratory and X-rays • Dermatology and Optometry services • Botox and Obagi skin care now available Celebrating 43 years of family care Mark A. Wyse, M.D. Ira H. Ungar, M.D. Karin O’Clair, D.O. 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Page 11 March 2013 City makes advances in local plans Councilman Sal DiCiccio By Sal DiCiccio My council colleagues and I recently accomplished some pretty big things for Arcadia and the surrounding area. There are so many good things happening in District 6 I wanted to take this opportunity to update you on a few. Camelback Mountain/Echo Canyon Trail update I am happy to report improvements to Camelback Mountain are underway. Many individuals from neighborhood groups, hikers and those interested in preserving Camelback Mountain have requested assistance. This has been a top priority for me and we are getting the job done. For the fi rst time in 40 years, this incredible gem of the city of Phoenix will see a major improvement to bene fi t our neighborhoods and our iconic Camelback Mountain. High traf fi c necessitated improvements to preserve Camelback Mountain. With an infusion of more than $2.8 million, we will be doing major renovations on Echo Canyon Trail by: expanding parking at the trailhead helping with neighborhood issues; adding permanent restroom facilities and replacing the unsightly portable restrooms; providing drinking-water stations and a turnabout for van drop-offs for larger hiking groups. We are in the process of fi nalizing the land swap with the adjacent homeowners’ association that will allow for the planned expansion and the contracts needed for the improvements will be completed within the next six weeks. Final piece of business expansion reform Last year, Councilman Tom Simplot and I worked together with a citizens’ committee where we created the best model in the nation for starting or expanding a business. Continued on page 18 “Finding the GOOD in every home...” 7KH*RRG/LIH 5($/7< Leslie Rangel 7YPUJPWHS)YVRLY 602-291-7181 Cheryl “CB” Barnoli 7YPUJPWHS(NLU[ 623-764-8153 TheGoodLifeRealty@gmail.com Call to redeem-up to $10,000.00* * Up to 1% off of a commission from a purchase/sale by The Good Life Realty.