DECEMBER 2025 46 I f you grew up watching Seinfeld , you know Festivus isn’t just a quirky subplot, it’s a whole mood. Dreamed up as an antidote to holiday frenzy, Festivus trades tinsel and stress for laughter and simplicity. There’s the plain aluminum pole, the “Feats of Strength,” and the unforgettable “Airing of Grievances.” Because sometimes, the best way to spread holiday cheer is to say exactly what’s on your mind. This month, I’m bringing the spirit of Festivus to the kitchen with three plant-based dishes inspired by the show’s most memorable moments. A savory lentil loaf reimagines the classic “meat” loaf dinner: hearty, savory, and satisfying. A roasted cauliflower and butternut squash soup gives a nod to the Soup Nazi episode, comforting, creamy, and worth shouting “No soup for you!” And the holiday salad with citrus dressing takes its cue from Elaine’s “big salad;” colorful, fresh, and unapologetically abundant. Whether you celebrate Festivus, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or just a quiet night in, these recipes are here to make your December a little more delicious, a little less stressful, and a lot more fun. And if you happen to air a few grievances while the lentil loaf bakes, well, Festivus wouldn’t be complete without it. Join my monthly membership for printable recipes, health videos and live Zoom cooking classes – fall classes are available now! Only $10 a month! A Festivus (meal) for the rest of us! 1. Preheat oven to 350F. 2. Mix ground flax with water and set aside. 3. Add 1½ cups of the lentils to a food processor and pulse to break down. Mix with the remaining lentils. 4. Sauté the onion, red pepper, carrots, celery and garlic for five minutes. Add fresh herbs and spices and cook another minute. 5. Add the vegetables to the lentils and add the oats, oat flour, two tbsp. of ketchup and the flax mixture. Stir. 6. Fill a loaf pan that is lined with parchment. Stir the remaining ketchup with the vinegar and brush it on top of the loaf. Bake 50 minutes. • 3 tbsp. ground • 2 cups cooked lentils • ! onion, finely diced • 1 red pepper, finely diced • 2 small carrots, finely diced • 1 celery stalk, finely diced • 3 garlic cloves, minced • 2 tsp. each: fresh sage, fresh rosemary, and Italian seasoning • 1 ! tsp. pink salt • 1 tsp. each: cumin, garlic granules, onion granules • ! tsp. pepper • ¾ cup rolled oats • ! cup oat flour • 5 tbsp. ketchup, divided • 1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar • DIRECTIONS • • INGREDIENTS • Owner of YouCare- SelfCare, a private wellness practice specializing in plant- based lifestyle and disease prevention. youcare-selfcare.com BY MIRIAM HAHN Savory lentil loaf Serves 8 • INGREDIENTS • • 1 carton chopped butternut squash • 1 red pepper, chopped • 3 cloves garlic, chopped • 1 cup cauliflower florets • 1 tsp. dried thyme + salt and pepper • 2 ! cups vegetable broth • 2 tbsp. white miso paste • ¼ cup chopped scallions + more for garnish • 1 cup canned coconut milk • 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar • ! tsp. salt 1. Preheat oven to 400F. 2. Add the butternut squash, red pepper, garlic, and cauliflower to a baking sheet. Spray with cooking spray and shake on the thyme, salt, and pepper. 3. Bake for 45 minutes, stirring halfway. 4. Add the cooked vegetables to a blender with the broth, miso paste, and scallions. 5. Blend until smooth, then pour back into the pot. 6. Now add the coconut milk, balsamic vinegar, and salt. Simmer for 10 minutes and serve. Season with salt and pepper to taste. • DIRECTIONS • Roasted cauli!lower and butternut squash soup Serves 6 1. To toast the almonds, place in a dry skillet on medium heat for six to eight minutes. 2. Give the spring greens a rough chop, then put in a large bowl with the other salad ingredients. 3. Mix up dressing in a small jar. 4. Right before serving, add half of the dressing to the bowl and toss. Add more dressing if needed. • DIRECTIONS • • INGREDIENTS • • DRESSING • • 1 large box (10 oz.) of spring greens • ! cup shaved almonds, toasted • 1 can drained mandarin oranges • ! cup pomegranate seeds • 1 large avocado sliced • ¼ cup sliced red onion • Optional: 1 cup white beans (makes it heartier!) • ¼ cup olive oil • ¼ cup orange juice • 2 tbsp. diced shallots • 2 tbsp. apple cider vinegar • 1 tbsp. maple syrup • 1 tbsp. stone ground mustard • ¾ tsp. pink salt • ¼ tsp. pepper • ¼ tsp. garlic granules Holiday salad with citrus dressing Serves 6