WE BUY HOUSES! Skip the middleman, pocket the savings! Serving Arcadia for 20 years Sell2Builder@gmail.com • 602-456-2799 Sell2Builder.com • As-Is • Fair Cash Price • No Repairs • No Fees • No Commissions • Quick Close • Stay After Close • Local Builder • Solution Focused Amy Owens and Jay Lockett 12 AUGUST 2024 A few of my idle thoughts on a summer’s day I dle thoughts and uncommon observations have little influence on the shape of world events, yet they wander through a columnist’s mind while trying to think of something to write about. If you drop a penny on the floor, it will plop flat on one of its sides and just lie there. But if you drop a quarter on the floor, it will land on its edge and roll into some distant place, like under the refrigerator where no human can recover it without herculean effort. The person who invented the word “garbanzo” deserves an award from an etymological society for converting the mundane “chickpeas” into a melodious usage of the language. Television anchor persons frequently close their telecasts with phrases similar to “we’ll see you tomorrow” or “I’ll see you next time.” They don’t see us. What they see is a large camera and studio lights, operated by engineers and technicians. We see them but they don’t see us. It must be confusing living in Mesa where they have streets named Hobson, Dobson and Robson. The reason so many of us never became television personalities is deep inside, we harbor this basic fear of appearing on camera and mispronouncing “Queen Creek” as “Creen Queek.” Of all the elements that have disappeared from the Valley over the past 50 years, I miss the scent of the orange blossoms that once permeated the entire area every spring. Housing developments and industrial buildings can never replace that fragrance. If the phrase “you know” was eliminated from the language, a major portion of the population would be stricken dumb. Politicians, celebrities, professional athletes and common folk apparently cannot finish an interview or even a short speech without interjecting “you know” into it. Especially athletes. In this era of constant change, it is amazing that no linguist does anything to standardize the use of “gh.” It comes in so many forms that it’s difficult to keep track. In rough, tough, enough and cough, it’s pronounced “ff.” In through it’s “oo” but in thorough, furlough and borough it sounds like simply “o.” When used in ghost or ghastly or Pittsburgh it’s a hard “g” but in sigh and high it makes no sound. When attached to the end of weigh and inveigh it makes an “a.” There’s unlimited debate over the correct pronunciation when the “gh” rides in on the end of hiccough. Is it “hiccuff” or hiccup? And explaining why “laughter” is “laffter” but “slaughter” is “slotter” must give spelling teachers many sleepless nights. Since we’re on the subject, it’s probably time to get rid of that unnecessary “p” as it pops up in so many words. Like ptarmigan, psychology, psalm and psychiatry. They serve no purpose other than confuse our elementary schoolers. When an object is offered for sale on television or in the print media, there are frequent references to lifetime guarantees. But nobody ever says whose lifetime is being guaranteed. Is it the product? The salesman? The advertisement? The buyer? Automobile manufacturers must rely on different dictionaries than those we normally use to come up with model names like Rivian, Tiguan, Seltos, Stonic, Ioniq and Camry. Those planning a visit to Kartchner Caverns should remember this when trying to determine which formations are which: Stalagmites have a “g” which stands for “ground” so they’re the ones arising from the lower surface. Stalactites come with a “c” which stands for “ceiling” so they’re the things hanging down from above. Those sticker tags that someone attaches to fruit are among life’s minor annoyances. They’re hard to peel off and if you forget that part and just start chewing, it gets caught in your teeth or worse, at the back of your throat. A former Valley newspaperman who now writes about his travels across Arizona, the U.S. and the globe. BY SAM LOWE ILLUSTRATION: TONY BUSTOS

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