Page 26 July 2012 Observation Room 2 at the Arizona Heart Hospital, 12 feet or so above the action. I “won” a silent auction that allowed me entrance into this area, and there I sat with four other bewildered souls who started questioning their geographic happenstance that morning when the doctors started pointing out all of the utensils splayed out in a gleaming display across a six-foot long stainless steel table on wheels. Like movie props from a horror movie, it was upon that cold tabletop that we noticed replications our own handyman tools we use for cutting, ripping, smashing and extracting. The saws, drills, clamps, pliers and bolt-cutters were there to name a few. But instead of the usual commercial yellow or orange colors, these tools were completely crafted out of stainless steel, suitable for thousand-degree germ-killing before being called into action. The surgeon cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone. He looked like a pop star with the headset. “We’ll start by opening the chest cavity,” he said, “which will require removing the ribs... ribs... ribs... ribs... ribs.” (Extra ‘ribs’ added as that’s my recollection but clearly he wouldn’t have said that fi ve times.) Hearing the familiar, quick trigger pull to check for power was alarming, since we all associated the noise with cutting paneling in some basement rec room in Wisconsin. Con fi rming power, the surgeon planted his feet, dipped his shoulder for leverage, and put the jigsaw to work. It lasted a minute, tops. The most dif fi cult part – the scene that morning that made me stand up and say, “uh, wait a sec…” thinking that was actually going to prep me or something, I guess – was when the doctor was handed a pair of stainless steel bolt cutters as he explained the next part of the procedure to us that equated to this: can’t saw through ALL of it, now…. Like popping open a can of Dinty Moore, this dude’s sternum was removed with a jigsaw and bolt cutters in less than three minutes. Those bolt cutters snapping ribs are what really resonate. The slight grunt the surgeon let out before the fi rst one popped made me cringe, thinking he must be applying a thousand pounds of torque with the length of those handles. The sobering thought was trying to imagine what that guy is going to feel like when he wakes up. No matter how many nerve endings you’ve knocked out with morphine, the pain of popping bones like unwanted oleander branches can’t be completely obliterated. Just like the sound of that pigeon. Greg can be reached via e-mail: greg@arcadianews.com. Twist Continued from page 24 C e l l : ( 6 0 2 ) 6 1 9 - 4 5 5 0 O f f i c e : ( 4 8 0 ) 2 8 7 - 5 2 0 0 7 1 3 5 E . C a m e l b a c k R o a d , Su i t e 3 6 0 S c o t t s d a l e , A Z 8 5 2 5 1 c i o n n e . m c c a r t h y @ r u s s l y o n . c o m w w w. C i o n n e M c C a r t h y. c o m w w w. Fa c e b o o k . c o m / C i o n n e . M c C a r t h y Not to be described but experienced, this home offers one of the most beautiful & carefully crafted residences available in Paradise Valley. Ideal for entertaining numerous guests with 5 bedrooms plus an office, 5 1/2 baths, a fabulous casita, extended lap pool, covered trellis, a custom outdoor living room with fireplace, and concealed gated parking. Venetian plaster throughout the foyer, family room, and kitchen. The versatile floor plan will accommodate virtually any family’s needs. This exquisite home is a rare find and a must see! For Sale MLS#: 4767611 ~ List Price: $2,795,000. Also for Rent MLS#: 4767615 ~ Lease Price: $9,000 per month. Extravagant OUTDOOR LIVING N E W L I S T I N G Sellers, NOW IS THE TIME TO LIST~ Inventory is low and demand is high! Buyers, Prices are on the rise~ Don’t get left in the wake! Call Cionne McCarthy today! July 7th @ Lucky Paws • 12:30pm Catering by Smokin’ Aces BBQ • Tickets $10 If you have new Christmas items to donate, please email us at Luckypawsanimal@gmail.com. VISIT OUR WEBSITE,WWW.LUCKYPAWSAZ.ORG FOR PHOTOS AND INFO ABOUT ANIMALS AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION 6423 E. Thomas Road, Scottsdale, AZ 85251 • 480-941-4135 Join us for Christmas in July! 30pm S C W INC INC Your premier collision and paint shop in the Phoenix Metropolitan area! Family-owned and operated since 1981. Representing your interests with the insurance company BMW, Lexus and Mercedes-Benz factory trained technicians Free pick-up & delivery • Towing service available Free Estimates 602-277-8254 4620 N. 7th Ave • Phoenix, AZ 85013 www.scottscoachworks.com BMW