Page 24 July 2012 By Greg A. Bruns My favorite vehicle of all time was my 1979 Jeep CJ5, an open-air vehicle with no doors, carpet, air conditioning, radio or gas gauge. With only a thin bikini top to protect part of the cockpit from the elements, driving the Jeep was a highly interactive, hands-on experience with the road, offering complete immersion with dirt, pollution, rain and forest fi re smoke (as discovered on the way down from Flagstaff once). Running errands one morning, I took off from the crosswalk neck-and-neck with a large Cadillac that fl oated and bounced along like a 5000-pound ham sandwich. The instant I looked up, I saw it. A pigeon strutting through the crosswalk on the other side of the road and I knew instantly The Caddy was going to hit it. The sweet-smelling draft of the cool Arizona air whipping through the cockpit of the Jeep was snapped and slapped right out of my nose with the 30-inch whitewall Dunlop that steamrolled every atom of life out of a winged rat in 1/1000th of a second, searing a sound in my brain that will never be forgotten, much less replicated, again. I could’ve let off the gas, sure, but the urge to keep pace was too great, and for some reason my eyes and ears were tractor-beamed to that little 7-inch tall bird, strutting slowly right on top of the slightly elevated white paint that may as well have been an industrial fence-post driver from a Loony Tunes cartoon. At the moment the Caddy’s front right tire was going to do some molecular alteration of this bird, I may as well have been engaged in conversation with the thing at a cocktail party – that’s how close I was with the open-air of the Jeep and the distance between the two vehicles. That day I jotted down a note in an attempt to describe the audible aspect of the bird demolition: “it was like running over a soggy canvas bag of bleached chicken bones inside a hot water bottle pumped full of pure oxygen to the point that it looks like an abscess on Walter Mathau’s hairy back.” However many bones there were in that bird – let’s say there’s 100 – they all snapped in such ef fi cient and swift order it sounded like 100 strong-armed Cubans whipped 100 walnuts against a concrete wall with 100 jai-alai scoops. The only other aural lock in my head is the sound I gleaned from Surgery Continued on page 26 FAMILY PRACTICE SPECIALISTS, LTD. Established 1969 • Celebrating 43 years of care Award winning on site clinical laboratory X-ray facility and bone densitometry Dermal fillers Perlane and Restylane Botox and Obagi skin care now available Excellent care offered for all ages State-of-the-art Electronic Medical Records Same day appointments available 4350 East Camelback Road • Ste F100 • Phoenix 602-955-8700 • FpsAZ.com Family Practice Specialists Our family car ing for yours Mark A. Wyse, M.D. Ira H. Ungar, M.D. Allan Goldman, D.O. Karin O’Clair, D.O. David Francyk, D.O. Kate Montgomery, FNP T.E. McCauley, M.D. Charles Levison, M.D. John Stathakis, D.O., (Dermatologist) Your dream kitchen awaits you... ... or bath, home office, closet system, flooring, granite or entertainment center. We do it all! $250 CREDIT TO AMEROCK HARDWARE WITH THIS AD! With the purchase of a kitchen remodel 602.653.7446 3523 E. Broadway Road • Phoenix ROC# 258859 Licensed Bonded Insured www.CoventryKitchensandClosets.com

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